GARGOZO MANUSCRIPT

You couldn’t drag my parents into a church with logging chains.  They held religion responsible for countless centuries of genocide and misery,  and had no doubt the world would have been far better off without it.  That was as far as either one of them was willing to discuss the subject which of course made me all the more curious.  Once in a while as a kid I would tag along with friends when invited to visit their church.  At one time or another, I sat through services that were Catholic, Presbyterian and Seventh Day Adventist; none of which appealed to me.  I also went to a baptism with a neighbor’s kid whose hair had been turned bright green by roller derby tryouts, but I don’t recall what kind of church it was.  I knew a girl named Cheryl in high school who attended a Pentecostal Church with her family where according to her, members of the congregation frequently spoke in tongues.  They didn't allow in curious observers so I regretfully never was able to see this first

The following initiatives are being proposed to improve the overall quality of life for those of us residing in the USA . Bye Bye Dr. Phil Dr. Phil will for all practical purposes cease to exist.  He will no longer appear via any and all media – movies, books, television (including re-runs), magazines, internet, public appearances, etc.   The mere mention of his name will be classified as a misdemeanor earning the perpetrator an initial warning and followed by fines and imprisonment for repeat offenses. Presidential Lottery The office of President and Vice President of the United States will be filled by means of a national lottery conducted 30 days prior to the end of the term for the sitting President.  All U.S. Citizens are eligible to participate in the lottery (limit of one ticket per person) if they are over the age of 35 and their last name is not Bush, Clinton or Kennedy.  The lottery will bring to an end presidential debates, caucuses, primaries, campaigns, PACs

Photo from mentalfloss.com The table tilted to one side, lifting two legs off the floor, then began to slide across the kitchen on the other two.  Never did all four legs come off the floor, but not for lack of trying.  The scraping along the tile floor sent vibrations up the legs and into my hands resting on the table top.  My mother had taken me over to visit Judy, an old friend of hers that she hadn’t seen for some time.  I spent time with Judy’s son Maxim while our mothers were catching up.  At one point I overheard Judy scolding my mother for having failed to introduce me to raising tables.   Judy took us into the kitchen where she positioned herself, my mother and me around a table and issued instructions, “Place both hands lightly on the table top making contact with just your fingertips.  Don’t push down, just maintain contact with your fingertips like they were sitting on the keys of a piano.” I asked, “Eyes open or closed?” Judy said, “Either way’s fine; w