Quality of Life
The following initiatives are being proposed to improve the overall quality of life for those of us residing in the
Bye Bye Dr. Phil
Dr. Phil will for all practical purposes cease to
exist. He will no longer appear via any
and all media – movies, books, television (including re-runs), magazines,
internet, public appearances, etc. The
mere mention of his name will be classified as a misdemeanor earning the
perpetrator an initial warning and followed by fines and imprisonment for
repeat offenses.
Presidential Lottery
The
office of President and Vice President of the United States will be filled by
means of a national lottery conducted 30 days prior to the end of the term for
the sitting President. All U.S.
The
lottery winners will be limited to a single four-year term and will head the
executive branch in the same manner as if they were elected. Meaning they will continue the pointless
exercise of occupying the oval office while the congress uses partisanship to
log jam any practical legislation and devotes all of their energies to
raising campaign funds from special interest groups, collecting speaking fees
and getting re-elected.
The
prospects are slim for an individual picked at random to posses the requisite
talent and skills to create a positive impact while in office. However, it is equally unlikely that this
individual will do as much damage as those elected by the voters in the last
several decades.
War on Obesity
Beginning
the first of January a ten-year moratorium will be put in place abolishing
all public mention or depiction in any form of food or beverages, activities involving
food preparation, cooking, eating and related equipment. This ban will cover all means of
communication including but not limited to internet recipes, texting, twitter,
blogs, radio, print and digital media, cookbooks, culinary schools, television,
film, product advertisements, billboards, restaurant websites, restaurant
critics, reviews and yelp.
This
approach will serve as a legitimate testing of the notion “out of sight, out of
mind” and data captured for various age groups and other demographics may set a
precedent for addressing additional public health issues in the future.
Citizens’ Extortion of Congress
A
grass roots movement will circulate petitions nation wide to force politicians to get
something done. Citizens en masse will commit
to increase their dependent claims to 9 unless measurable improvements are
achieved within a 12-month period. The number of allowances an employee claims on their W-4
form is used to calculate the tax withheld from their paycheck. However, the
number of allowances claimed on a W-4 doesn’t have to match the actual number
of dependents. The government’s only
existing safeguard currently in place requires employers to notify the IRS if
an employee claims 10 or more dependents.
The threat this posses to politicians is that tax monies that
feed the government treasury every week via payroll deductions will be
decimated and held back until the end of the year when individuals file tax
returns. Without the weekly influx the
government will be forced to shut down and the legislators will be out of a job
and lose their free medical insurance.
The petition will state in broad terms that congress must
make verifiable quantified improvements in a minimum of four critical areas of
concern such as the national debt; health care & drug costs; affordable housing;
cost and quality of education pre-k through college; infrastructure; immigration;
the VA; full-time employment; campaign finance; renewable energy; the withdrawal of all troops and closure of all military bases world wide; etc.
At the conclusion of
the 12 months individual taxpayers will consider the degree of progress made
by congress and determined if they want to adjust their allowances and if so by
how much.
Use Starbucks to Downsize
the U.S.
Require Starbucks to install kiosks in all locations for
public access to state and federal services including DMV, IRS and social
security. Close and sell off all
government offices and layoff civil service employees thus reducing costs. Service improvements should be dramatic with
shorter lines and greater convenience due to a fifty-fold increase in locations
for the public to choose from.
Cultural Gauge
Assign the National Institute of Science and Technology to
devise, install and maintain a means of monitoring the ebb and flow of U.S.
Exile
Immediately enact economic sanctions, freeze all assets,
permanently revoke U.S.