Was That You?
Someone sent some sort of text/special effects message to my
cell phone yesterday that I did not (nor ever will) see, view or
listen to. If it was you and it was friendly, thanks for thinking of me; if it was nasty because I did something offensive, please accept my apology; or, if wasn't you at all, forget about it.
The reason I can never see, view or listen to whatever it was is
that I am only willing to make outgoing calls and receive incoming calls. I did at first listen to messages left on my phone but found the experience depressing and pointless and quickly disabled the voice mail feature. I also disabled the text feature as soon as people started sending me those insideous multi-colored hieroglyphics.
cell phone yesterday that I did not (nor ever will) see, view or
listen to. If it was you and it was friendly, thanks for thinking of me; if it was nasty because I did something offensive, please accept my apology; or, if wasn't you at all, forget about it.
The reason I can never see, view or listen to whatever it was is
that I am only willing to make outgoing calls and receive incoming calls. I did at first listen to messages left on my phone but found the experience depressing and pointless and quickly disabled the voice mail feature. I also disabled the text feature as soon as people started sending me those insideous multi-colored hieroglyphics.
I find the cell phone experience to be off-putting and have no desire to venture out beyond making and receiving calls. So if it is a text, email, skype, GPS, photo, face book, app, musical,
navigation or digital colonoscopy - I am going to miss it.
Actually, I miss out on a lot of incoming calls because it is very difficult for me to hear my cell phone ring. I carry it in my pants pocket which muffles the sound quite a bit; especially when I sit on it. Often it will occur to me that there was some odd sound a few minutes/hours ago while I was preoccupied and when I check my phone I find that I once again have missed a call.
There are also the calls that I miss when I hear the phone ring and can't get the little bastard out of my pants before it stops ringing. The other problem I have is trying to somehow grab and flip open the two halves - it is an old model but it was free. This model was popular with smugglers of various contraband in the 80's as the sleek smooth teardrop shape can be easily stashed and later retrieved along with the drugs from one's rectum.
navigation or digital colonoscopy - I am going to miss it.
Actually, I miss out on a lot of incoming calls because it is very difficult for me to hear my cell phone ring. I carry it in my pants pocket which muffles the sound quite a bit; especially when I sit on it. Often it will occur to me that there was some odd sound a few minutes/hours ago while I was preoccupied and when I check my phone I find that I once again have missed a call.
There are also the calls that I miss when I hear the phone ring and can't get the little bastard out of my pants before it stops ringing. The other problem I have is trying to somehow grab and flip open the two halves - it is an old model but it was free. This model was popular with smugglers of various contraband in the 80's as the sleek smooth teardrop shape can be easily stashed and later retrieved along with the drugs from one's rectum.
Due to the design of the phone it makes for one slippery SOB.
On the rare occasion when I am able to hold onto the phone, I have a tough time trying to open it having bitten my nails to the quick, making it necessary for me to remove my keys out of my other pocket and use one of them to open the phone. My keys are much easier to hold onto than the phone so my latest method of answering the phone (when I can hear it ring) is to take my keys out of my pocket first, place them between my front teeth, leaving both hands free to remove the phone form my other pocket, cradle it firmly it one hand, and with my free hand, separate one key from the rest to use as a mini-pry bar.
When at last I am able to open the phone and find (1), there is adequate reception; and (2), there is not the kind of noise that you experience in or close to traffic, in a restaurant, in a store, at the mall, at the DMV, getting a haircut, at the dentist, at the post office - or anywhere you can think of outside of a sensory deprivation tank - only then can I put the phone to my ear and actually hear the person on the other end of the call. When the caller begins to talk, more often than not, I immediately regret having taken the call.