Management Consulting II

In the mid 1970’s, I worked for a few years with Dave Claeys at a consulting firm located in Culver City. We had a co-worker named Frank Reynolds who was delusional but harmless. He had written and had published a science fiction novel that he carried with him in his briefcase at all times. It was a cross between The Martian Chronicles and Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. He had his own vocabulary of terms and phrases that he would use in conversations without ever bothering to define or explain their meaning. This completely baffled the consulting clients as Frank would scatter these terms throughout presentations and technical discussions all the while implying anyone with an IQ of 45 surely was familiar with these terms. Frank also prepared complex visual aids that were completely incomprehensible with diagrams that highlighted “red, amber and green light vectors” that when compounded created the “delta difference”. Clients would sit in stunned silence until Frank finished and few ever had the balls to ask questions. After a short pee break, Frank would go back to Culver City and Dave and I would reconvene the clients and relieve the tension by pretending to translate Frank’s ramblings. We of course would simply tell them our own suggestions in plain English. It was magic. Frank was viewed by clients as a savant like Peter Sellers in Being There. The clients were so disoriented and desperately confused by Frank they would enthusiastically embrace our suggestions. Disagreements were very rare. Frank never caught on that no one could understand him and Dave and I weren’t gonna say anything to spoil things.

Frank was actually quite a fragile soul and I think the verbal fog was a device to keep others at a distance. One day we were all working at Security Pacific National Bank in downtown Los Angeles when a newly appointed bank executive issued instructions for all consultants to be expelled immediately from the building. It was no big deal as we were all back the following week but at the time it seemed serious. On the way back to Culver City, Dave stopped at an AM/PM close by the office to buy cigarettes and ran into Frank inside the store. Frank had been voicing public affirmations for the last several weeks to everyone in the office about his strict diet of water, vitamins and guarana tablets. Dave eyed the collection of mini donuts and little Debbie cakes that Frank had carried up to the cash register. Frank was devastated and embarrassed and begged Dave not to tell anyone back at the office. He explained that being thrown out of the bank and the gloomy outlook for continued employment was too much for him to take. He had to do something to relieve the stress. When we all returned back to the office I collected everyone's bank picture ID cards. New IDs were issued when we were let back into the bank the following week. Not sure why, but when I quit working for the consulting firm a few years later, I took the old IDs home and put them away.

Twenty five years later, I am at home and come across the old picture IDs including Frank’s. That week I had a consulting assignment in Binghamton, New York from where I mailed Frank’s picture ID and the following hand written letter to Dave:

Dear Dave, How goes it? Greetings from upstate New York! God, how many years has it been? Damned if I didn’t come across my old SPNB ID the other day (see enclosed). Remember when they threw us out? That was a rough day for me and I don’t know if I ever adequately thanked you for your genuine compassion and discretion regarding my falling off the wagon. It meant a great deal to me. Fast forward – my life has taken some radical shifts since then. Fast forward/pause – just completed an 18 month apprenticeship under the guidance of Gray Lake, an Oneida tribe shaman.  I can’t begin to tell you all the things that he helped reveal to me. The Oneida are a matrilineal society where tribal ties are traced through the mother’s line – a truly fascinating and insightful culture. Fast forward/pause – short on wampum and need to relocate; plan on taking Greyhound to LA in a few weeks and need a place to land for just a few days until my next path opens up. Hate to impose but could use some help. I will call you from the bus depot upon arrival. Looking forward to catching up!

Frank