Elementary

Imagine if you will, the producer, the director and a few writers are engaged in the initial plot development session for Elementary.  This cop drama is now in its 3^rd season and has enjoyed a great deal of critical acclaim.

Director:  "We need our Sherlock character to be as unique as possible to separate us from the Sherlock in the BBC series that just aired.  Obviously our guy has to possess unrealistic super-human powers of deduction, but he's going to need something special beyond that."

Writer no. 1:  "Well, cocaine abuse has been part of every Sherlock rip-off since Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.  Maybe our Sherlock can be fresh out of rehab – that's not been done before."

Producer:  "Yeah and Dr. Watson can be there to hold his hand and keep him on the straight and narrow."

Writer no. 2:  "And our Watson can be a broad!"

Director:  "That'd be good but it's more critical to make our Sherlock unique."

Producer:  "I see him as an arrogant, obnoxious little twerp."

Writer no 1:  "Okay, what if he's also a narcissist, insensitive to others, lacking any inter-personal skills whatsoever."

Writer no. 2:  "How about if in addition to that, he despises all the living members of his own family?"

Director:  "I like that, especially if he's also an insecure loner who craves having his ego coddled."

Writer no. 2:  "It's not just his ego that needs coddling, he also engages in bizarre and deviant sexual practices."

Producer:  "All of this is good but let's stop short of making him a serial killer, that's been done."

Three years later, a focus group has been asked by network executives to share opinions and observations about the show's cast.  The focus group is made up of viewers from the show's key demographic.  The show's director, producer and writers are sitting in to facilitate the discussion and take notes.

Director:  "Let's hear from you about the show's minor roles first.  What are your thoughts about the police that work along side Sherlock and Watson?"

Viewer no 1:  "Law enforcement agencies are notorious for refusing to cooperate with each other.  How do you expect us to believe they would willingly accept any sort of working relationship with civilians?"

Viewer no. 2:  "Even more absurd is the tired Law & Order formula."

Writer no. 1:  "What formula is that?"

Viewer no. 2:  "The formula that forces us to watch the first 3 or 4 suspects be introduced, arrested, interrogated, charged and then passed over for the next likely suspect.  We know damn well the bad guy isn't going to be part of the first foursome.  Trust me, this is not what kept Law & Order on TV for 20 years."

Writer no. 1:  "Okay, I'll bite; what made Law & Order work?"

Viewer no. 2:  "That's obvious – Jerry Orbach.  Everybody know's that."

Viewer no. 1:  "There are other things about your show that are too much of a stretch."

Writer no. 1:  "Such as?"

Viewer no. 1:  "Please lay off of the repeated bit where Watson spots medication in someone's fridge and fingers the bad guy.  At least avoid having it be a medical condition that only affects 1 in 200 million people."

Viewer no.2:  "How can anyone defend Watson's behavior?  She is a live-in rehab counselor for a recovering addict, who sleeps with her patient's brother? What were you thinking?  Did you expect you'd draw viewers away from their Jerry Springer re-runs?"

Viewer no. 1:  The whole brother thing was ludicrous.  Here's this 6 foot 4 inch geek looking like a scare crow out of The Wizard of Oz, and you expect us to believe he works deep cover for MI-5.  If that weren't enough he's also a gourmet chef.  Is this being set up as a spin-off?"

Viewer no. 3:  "Let's stay on Dr. Watson.  I'd like to know what in the hell are you doing with this character?"

Writer no 2:  "You sound frustrated."

Viewer no. 3:  "More mystified than frustrated.  She was a physician, then she becomes a live-in rehab counselor, later a detective in-tern and most recently takes a job as a security consultant for a corporation.  What's next, a Girl Scout leader?"

Viewer no. 2:  "Who is in charge of her wardrobe?  For Christ's sake, Lucy Liu is 46 years old and you've got her wearing young adult hand-me-downs from Target."

Viewer no. 3:  "Nothing tracks for the Watson character.  As a doctor, she quits on the spot when her patient (a complete stranger) dies on the operating table.  Later, when her fiancé drinks poison (that escapes Watson's purported powers of observation) and dies in her arms, she forges ahead as though nothing was amiss."

Viewer no. 2:  "You spent an entire season with Watson harping on her need to find her own place and her own life.  In a single episode you recently had her running back to Sherlock so she can continue to cohabitate with this total pompous asshole.  She's gone off the rails completely.  Nothing makes any sense."

After the focus group session ends, the director tells the producer, "The Girl Scout leader idea is pure genius."