Govt 1

I was laid off by my employer in August of 2014.  I went to the State of California  Employment Development Department (EDD) website to apply for unemployment insurance.  I filled out and submitted the form as instructed and waited to hear back.  I received a letter acknowledging that my application had been received and that I would be contacted by phone on a specific date between the hours of 9:00 a.m. and 11:00 a.m.  The call was referred to as the "determination interview" which would decide if I was eligible for benefits.  The date and time came and went with no call.

The following day I called the EDD at 800-300-5616.  I called after 12:00 noon, and listened to a recorded message stating that "If you want to speak with a representative", you must call back between the hours of 8:00 a.m. and 12:00 noon.  The following day I called between the hours of 8:00 a.m. and 12:00 noon, and heard a recorded message stating that due to the number of callers, the EDD was not able to take my call and to try again another day.

I set my alarm and awoke the next morning early enough to begin at 7:55 a.m. repeatedly speed dialing the EDD phone number.  This tactic would eliminate the possibility of a lot of callers (if any) from getting in line ahead of me.  Each time I called between 7:55 to 7:59, I could hear the beginning of the recording that says to call back between 8 and noon.  I continued speed dialing until I connected a microsecond after 8:00 a.m., only to hear the recording telling me due to the number of callers, the EDD was not able to take my call and to try again another day.  I set my alarm and applied the same tactic 5 mornings in a row with the same result.

During my 5-day speed dialing effort, I received more snail mail from the EDD.  Included was a requirement to register on-line with an outfit called CALJOBS or I would be ineligible for benefits.  I registered as instructed and was besieged with phone calls for the next 2 weeks by CALJOBS attempting to sell me various training courses.  I re-read the EDD information and determined that it required only that I "register" with CALJOBS, not that I succumb to their high pressure sales efforts.  Whoever are the individuals responsible for the EDD and CALJOBS arrangement – I'll wager my first unemployment check that their last names end in a vowel.  This has M-O-B written all over it.

Since I now knew for certain that it is not possible to reach the EDD via telephone, I returned to their website.  I eventually found a link called "ask EDD".  I completed 7 years of college, worked for 40 years with documents including military contracts, and have learned how to make my way around a website.  Why then did it take me nearly an entire day to locate the only option on the website that is worth a shit?  If no one is going to answer the phone, why list it as a point of contact?  Why didn't they have the "ASK EDD" link in six-foot high letters on the home page? 

I reluctantly sent an email to ask EDD figuring this too would prove futile.  Damn if I didn't have a response in less than 4 hours.  We traded emails for two days and then the lady who was corresponding with me called me on my phone.  I couldn't have been more overwhelmed had Publishers Clearing House been at the front door.

The lady said, " Mr. Gardiol, I am sorry your claim has dragged on so long but I can see in your file what is holding things up."

I said, "What might that be?"

She said, "The person who was responsible for conducting the determination interview made a note indicating that he called me at the appointed time and there was no answer."

I asked, "Is there also a note on file indicating that the interviewer, pardon my French, is a lying sack of shit?" 

She said, "Mr. Gardiol, I am going to give you his direct line so that you can speak with him.  Claims are not ever supposed to be left open this long.  He needs to wrap this up as soon as possible."

I said, "I don't want to hear another recorded message."

She said, "Mr. Gardiol, If he is at his desk he will answer the phone.  There is no recorded message on his line."

I thanked her for her help, hung up and said a prayer for the poor woman.  I can only assume that she will not withstand the torture she will undergo.  Eventually, she will admit to having given out a working phone number to a member of the public, and be stoned to death. 

I tried the number she gave me.  The phone rang and the interviewer answered.  Once I had answered the obligatory identification and security questions, I asked him what information he needed from me to complete his determination.

He asked, "What was the last day that you worked?"

I said, "Do you have the application I sent in?"

He said, "Yes."

I said, "Did I write August 14 as the last day worked on the application?"

He said, "Yes."

I said, "Well, there you go."

He said, "So your last day worked was August 14?"

I said, "As God is my witness."

He said, "Thank you.  I think that's everything I need."

A few days later I received a call from the EDD.  It was someone I hadn't spoken with before.  After he was satisfied that I was me, and not an imposter, he asked me just one question, "What was the last day you worked?"