Thor
Munson and I had sailed to
the center of Moro
Bay
We were both over six feet tall which along with the ice chest we loaded aboard made for cramped quarters. Between the ice chest and the two of us, the little boat would be asked to maneuver while hauling nearly 500 pounds. Neither of us had ever been sailing before but after a twenty-minute laurel-and-Hardy routine that dealt with tacking and coming about, we were all set.
photo from Duckworks Magazine
We were both over six feet tall which along with the ice chest we loaded aboard made for cramped quarters. Between the ice chest and the two of us, the little boat would be asked to maneuver while hauling nearly 500 pounds. Neither of us had ever been sailing before but after a twenty-minute laurel-and-Hardy routine that dealt with tacking and coming about, we were all set.
We had made use of a steady
but gentle breeze to take us out into the bay where we now sat working our way
through the beer in the ice chest. At
first the occasional gusts went unnoticed but as white caps appeared and the
wind neared gale-force levels, I began to question our seaworthiness. I can’t emphasize enough how out-of-character
it was for me to find myself in such a predicament. I have always been a confirmed landlubber and avoid all bodies of water and any device that claims to float. On the rare occasions where I do go into the water, I never wander further than seventy-five yards from shore
which is about as far as I am able to swim.
Image by fxguide.com
The pleasant inlet that had seemed so inviting when we launched the sabot was now slapping against the sabot's hull and spilling into the boat. The harsh buffeting blasts of wind had us both panicked and we began wrestling with the tiller and the sail. Somehow I found myself falling out of the boat and screaming like a four-year-old as I hit the water. The next thing I knew I was standing straight up in twenty inches of water looking down on Munson who was laying on the bottom of the hull maintaining a death grip on the centerboard.
We were unaware that the only place in Moro Bay where the water is deep is a few narrow channels that are marked by buoys. Even when the tide is in, other than the channels, the water in the bay is never more than a couple of feet deep. I was overcome with relief to put it mildly but also realized that I felt quite at ease in the shallow water. I couldn't very well drown and the water level drastically reduced the odds of running into a whale shark. On the way back to Umbeck's house an idea began to form.
I asked Munson, "Remember at Occidental the God-awful travelogues they showed in the required assemblies?"
Munson said, "I didn't go to the required assemblies."
I said, "Neither did I but I heard they weren't much more than 'What I did on my summer vacation.' We could do better."
Munson asked, "Why would we want to?"
I said, "If we made a travelogue we could cover the USA on the college circuit and make some easy money."
Munson said, "I doubt a walking tour of Boyle Heights would draw much interest."
I said, "I was thinking more of an adventure along the lines of Thor Heyerdahl."
Munson said, "Who names their kid Thor?"
I said, "Hear me out. Our travelogue film would begin with the two of us in the sabot leaving the San Francisco Bay and sailing out under the Golden Gate Bridge.
The film follows us down along the coast and ends with us paddling the same ridiculous crate through the massive locks of the Panama Canal."
Munson said, "Us?"
I said, "One person in the boat won't cut it. Two people in the boat is, as we now know, totally impractical and fits perfectly with the spirit of a Thor Heyerdahl adventure."
Munson said, "I won't argue that the bridge and canal scenes would be powerful, it's the 4,000 miles in between that seems a bit much."
I said, "Quite possibly the very reason it's never been done."
Munson said, "The boat is too small for the two of us let alone food or anything else we might need."
I said, "Not an issue. Being a weak swimmer, I would insist that we stay within seventy yards of land at all times. This is non-negotiable. Whatever we need, be it food, water or toothpaste, we will come ashore and find it. The only thing we need to bring is money and a sleeping bag. We will sail only during the day and sleep on shore at night. I refuse to be on the water when it is dark; also non-negotiable."
Munson said, "Nothing personal but I'm going to pass."
I said, "What if we haul the sabot down the coast in the back of my dad's pickup and stop every 500 miles to get some footage with us in the boat?"
Munson said, "Where's the adventure in that?"
I said, "Who's to know besides us?
Munson said, "When we arrive at Cabo San Lucas how are we going to get across the sea of Cortez?"
I said, "I think there's a ferry."
Munson said, "I assume this is something else that will go unmentioned."
I said, "Why ruin it for everyone?"
Munson said, "I'm still not on board with the whole thing."
I said, "Okay, Okay, how about we film going under the bridge, fly to panama and film us taking a rented boat through the canal?"
Munson said, "How very un-Thor like."
I said, "While we're in Panama we can use the rented boat for a couple of days off the coast to create footage representing the 4,000 miles."
Munson said, "I think we need to throw in at least one scene where we come ashore to find a quaint tropical village."
I said, "That's very good. If we can find a place to buy a bunch of fish, we might get a scene where we're breaking bread with the natives."
Munson said, "We'll need to rent some gear and get footage of us fishing."
I said, "I just thought of a great ending. The film will be promoted as a trip in a small boat from the Golden Gate to the Canal which means we have no big finish since everyone already knows where we're headed."
Munson said, "Ask yourself, what would Thor do."
I said, "We'll do the same bit as in The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. Remember where Walter Huston goes to a small Mexican village and nurses a boy back to life and then later, after they lose all of the gold, Huston goes back to the village to live out his days? When we present the film only I will be at each showing. As the closing credits role I will reveal that after going through the canal you returned to the tropical village where we had the fish feast and I haven't heard from you since."
Munson said, "Now that's the first intelligent thing you've said."
We were unaware that the only place in Moro Bay where the water is deep is a few narrow channels that are marked by buoys. Even when the tide is in, other than the channels, the water in the bay is never more than a couple of feet deep. I was overcome with relief to put it mildly but also realized that I felt quite at ease in the shallow water. I couldn't very well drown and the water level drastically reduced the odds of running into a whale shark. On the way back to Umbeck's house an idea began to form.
I asked Munson, "Remember at Occidental the God-awful travelogues they showed in the required assemblies?"
Munson said, "I didn't go to the required assemblies."
I said, "Neither did I but I heard they weren't much more than 'What I did on my summer vacation.' We could do better."
Munson asked, "Why would we want to?"
I said, "If we made a travelogue we could cover the USA on the college circuit and make some easy money."
Munson said, "I doubt a walking tour of Boyle Heights would draw much interest."
I said, "I was thinking more of an adventure along the lines of Thor Heyerdahl."
Munson said, "Who names their kid Thor?"
I said, "Hear me out. Our travelogue film would begin with the two of us in the sabot leaving the San Francisco Bay and sailing out under the Golden Gate Bridge.
Photo by Bill Hubrick
The film follows us down along the coast and ends with us paddling the same ridiculous crate through the massive locks of the Panama Canal."
Photo from KHL Group
Munson said, "Us?"
I said, "One person in the boat won't cut it. Two people in the boat is, as we now know, totally impractical and fits perfectly with the spirit of a Thor Heyerdahl adventure."
Munson said, "I won't argue that the bridge and canal scenes would be powerful, it's the 4,000 miles in between that seems a bit much."
I said, "Quite possibly the very reason it's never been done."
Munson said, "The boat is too small for the two of us let alone food or anything else we might need."
I said, "Not an issue. Being a weak swimmer, I would insist that we stay within seventy yards of land at all times. This is non-negotiable. Whatever we need, be it food, water or toothpaste, we will come ashore and find it. The only thing we need to bring is money and a sleeping bag. We will sail only during the day and sleep on shore at night. I refuse to be on the water when it is dark; also non-negotiable."
Munson said, "Nothing personal but I'm going to pass."
I said, "What if we haul the sabot down the coast in the back of my dad's pickup and stop every 500 miles to get some footage with us in the boat?"
Munson said, "Where's the adventure in that?"
I said, "Who's to know besides us?
Munson said, "When we arrive at Cabo San Lucas how are we going to get across the sea of Cortez?"
I said, "I think there's a ferry."
Photo from cokiemoster.azul
Munson said, "I assume this is something else that will go unmentioned."
I said, "Why ruin it for everyone?"
Munson said, "I'm still not on board with the whole thing."
I said, "Okay, Okay, how about we film going under the bridge, fly to panama and film us taking a rented boat through the canal?"
Munson said, "How very un-Thor like."
I said, "While we're in Panama we can use the rented boat for a couple of days off the coast to create footage representing the 4,000 miles."
Munson said, "I think we need to throw in at least one scene where we come ashore to find a quaint tropical village."
I said, "That's very good. If we can find a place to buy a bunch of fish, we might get a scene where we're breaking bread with the natives."
Munson said, "We'll need to rent some gear and get footage of us fishing."
I said, "I just thought of a great ending. The film will be promoted as a trip in a small boat from the Golden Gate to the Canal which means we have no big finish since everyone already knows where we're headed."
Munson said, "Ask yourself, what would Thor do."
I said, "We'll do the same bit as in The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. Remember where Walter Huston goes to a small Mexican village and nurses a boy back to life and then later, after they lose all of the gold, Huston goes back to the village to live out his days? When we present the film only I will be at each showing. As the closing credits role I will reveal that after going through the canal you returned to the tropical village where we had the fish feast and I haven't heard from you since."
Munson said, "Now that's the first intelligent thing you've said."
From The treasure of the Sierra Madre